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#1. "I'd like
to report a stabbing."
Right off the bat, we see the tone of this book,
written back when pregnancy was an STD. Back when women made a quarter
of mens' salaries (as opposed to half today) and used it to buy tiny overpriced
hats like this one. We're in for a wild ride, folks, filled with sly, witty,
tongue-in-cheek innuendos that all mean "You've had premarital sex," and
"Your stomach is large." Let the rumpus commence. |
#2. "Relax,
ladies, Mr. Rotkamp was only here to see about selling me some new equipment."
This one is kind of charming, though. Unfortunately,
it's the only place in the book where the pregnant women get to laugh at
someone else's expense. But still, just look at that fat lummox! Wah ha!
..."Rotkamp"? What is that, Dutch? Czech? |
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#3. "Pre-Labor Day Sale"
GADS! Look at those hideous recycled pup tents! This is the kind of maternity wear that Lucille Ball had to wear, and for some reason insist she was enceinte instead of pregnant. Hide your grotesque, bloated carcass under this, dearie, and we'll pretend you actually are a baby yourself for the better part of a year.
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4. "At least they can't blame us for the population explosion."
Yeah, you never hear anyone say, "If it weren't for Dudley Moore and Henry Winkler, we wouldn't have all these damn kids underfoot!" I know they're supposed to be gays, but these guys more fit the stereotype of 'wealthy gadabout' than any mental image of gay guys I've ever fostered. Homosexuality instills one with an innate sense of interior design that these guys apparently have never even been in the same room with. They are smoking, though, which is a pretty gay characteristic if I've ever seen one. |
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5. "I wish you'd come to me a little sooner, miss."
DUUUH? More of that healthy disrespect for women that was so humorous in the 60s. Look at her cross-eyed expression: Miiih-ster, why my tummy get all big? I nunno!
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6. "Did the doctor say how long that 'morning sickness' would last?"
I'm sure sensitive, aren't I, honey? The way I seem to be taking an interest in "morning sickness" and other "discomforts" that you might be experiencing? I've got to go to work now, so you go off and enjoy your little "pregnancy" or whatever it is you call this thing.
(Incidentally, this woman needs to situate that bucket even closer to her mouth-- from the looks of the carpet, she's been overshooting it by several feet.) |
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